So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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