I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
