.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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