I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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