I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
