So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
