your thong is hanging out like whoa
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
