i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
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