dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
