i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
