And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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