he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
