so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Someone came in the potted fern
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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