you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
