Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
