He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
