Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
