Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
