i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
