She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
