Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
