i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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