I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
