Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
