She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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