I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Randomize
