I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
