its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
