i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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