Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
