Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
