check it out our google latitudes are spooning
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
