Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
