When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
