One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize