We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
