mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
