Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
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