He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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