Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
The beer is more important than you right now.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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