he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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