so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
