There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Randomize
