Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
