My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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