Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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