Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
