Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i just wanna soil my oats bro
honey bunches of taint.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
