Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
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