i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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