420 ftw
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
