Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize